A God BIGGER Then Depression

This is going to be a real personal blog but that's what blogs are for right? This is for of you out there who need a little "pick me up." This is one is for those of you who are going through trying times- no matter what it is or where you are in your walk with the Lord. It's also for those of who like me have gotten to the side as a gentle reminder to keep going!

I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 14. The trigger point for me was the summer of 2003 after I just turned 14. My brother, Matthew, has just graduated from Mount Vernon Nazarene University with a Bachelors degree in religion. He proposed to his girlfriend the day after my birthday. The Tuesday after graduation, she called Matthew at our house. I remember when that phone came in, I was just in the lazy boy reading my Bible. A few days later I found out she broke up with Matthew and that she told him she didn't want to marry him because of me. That summer I became VERY withdrawn. I was in my room most of the time and became very angry and bitter. I didn't trust anyone and felt I didn't deserve anyone to love me.

In September that all manifested into tics which would\ develop into Tourettes and Pseudo Seizures. I couldn't attend school regularly and was almost kept in 8th grade missing over 60 days of school and missing several major assignments. My teachers would also really modify assignments for me and most of them were different from the other students so I wasn't where I needed to be academically. My Dr's didn't know what was wrong with me. They ran test after test. Dr's appointments usually consisted of me banging my head on the way and saying how I wanted to kill myself. They referred me to the Head Phychatrist Children's Hospital and he told my parents I was the most depressed kid he had ever deal with in over 30 yrs.

With his help and also finally the diagnoses of Tourettes Syndrome and Pseudo Seizures I got a lot better. I got onto the other side of depression. I forgave her for what she did and forgave myself. I got right with God and learned to trust others again and allow them to love me. The recover was not instant at all. In fact, I don't think I really fully recovered until after High School.

Know matter how hard the situation that you may be in, DON'T lost heart. Remember God is bigger then any problem you face or will face. God is on your side, friend. When you fall He will be there to pick you up. Nothing can take His eyes on you! He loves for you is obsessive. He can't stop thinking about you! He is sooooooooo proud of you and wants nothing but the best for you!