We all have encountered times in our lives that change us forever, that defineus. We learn lessons on our way that help us as we get older and further along and can pass along to other who are where we've been. Life is the journey and heaven is our destination. Lessons we learn here are meant to help us along the way.
What happens when the lessons aren't clear and not like a billboard on the highway. What if we are in a battle that there doesn't seem to any reason for? What about the moments when God seems so far away and has stopped caring about us?
My friend, sometimes we will face battles that we don't know why we are fighting until after the battle is won. God never puts us in a battle just to make us suffer. Quite the contrary, God puts us through battles so we can learn and grow, to be more like Him. He puts us through battles because He has something better for us after the battle.
The Bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. We sometimes in the middle of the battle think that God has stopped loving us and stopped caring. Yet, He is loves us and cares about us just the same! He is closer in the moments then ever and cries with us and for us. We are the ones who have changed and became different, not God.
I didn't understand many things in the middle of the battle. I didn't understand why God gave me Turner Syndrome and gave me Tourettes Syndrome and Pseudo Seizures. But as I have gotten older and have fault and won my battles why God put me it. In High School, I was able to lead another student into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and see him baptised at my church that summer. I was able to talk another girl out of committing suicide by telling her about my battle with depression and being suicidal and about how my Grandfather's suicide affected me and my entire family.
God also puts obstacles in our way to show us how much He loves us by being with us. Hard times help draw us closer to Him then the good times. God desperately wants us to have a strong personal relationship with Him. He loves us sooooooooo much that He'll do whatever it takes. Don't lose hard my dear friend. Just because you don't know why doesn't mean God isn't working or knows what he is doing. When He seems so far you can't feel Him anymore, He is closer to you then ever before and carrying you higher. He will leave you or forsake you. He will never stop loving you!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
A God BIGGER Then Depression
This is going to be a real personal blog but that's what blogs are for right? This is for of you out there who need a little "pick me up." This is one is for those of you who are going through trying times- no matter what it is or where you are in your walk with the Lord. It's also for those of who like me have gotten to the side as a gentle reminder to keep going!
I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 14. The trigger point for me was the summer of 2003 after I just turned 14. My brother, Matthew, has just graduated from Mount Vernon Nazarene University with a Bachelors degree in religion. He proposed to his girlfriend the day after my birthday. The Tuesday after graduation, she called Matthew at our house. I remember when that phone came in, I was just in the lazy boy reading my Bible. A few days later I found out she broke up with Matthew and that she told him she didn't want to marry him because of me. That summer I became VERY withdrawn. I was in my room most of the time and became very angry and bitter. I didn't trust anyone and felt I didn't deserve anyone to love me.
In September that all manifested into tics which would\ develop into Tourettes and Pseudo Seizures. I couldn't attend school regularly and was almost kept in 8th grade missing over 60 days of school and missing several major assignments. My teachers would also really modify assignments for me and most of them were different from the other students so I wasn't where I needed to be academically. My Dr's didn't know what was wrong with me. They ran test after test. Dr's appointments usually consisted of me banging my head on the way and saying how I wanted to kill myself. They referred me to the Head Phychatrist Children's Hospital and he told my parents I was the most depressed kid he had ever deal with in over 30 yrs.
With his help and also finally the diagnoses of Tourettes Syndrome and Pseudo Seizures I got a lot better. I got onto the other side of depression. I forgave her for what she did and forgave myself. I got right with God and learned to trust others again and allow them to love me. The recover was not instant at all. In fact, I don't think I really fully recovered until after High School.
Know matter how hard the situation that you may be in, DON'T lost heart. Remember God is bigger then any problem you face or will face. God is on your side, friend. When you fall He will be there to pick you up. Nothing can take His eyes on you! He loves for you is obsessive. He can't stop thinking about you! He is sooooooooo proud of you and wants nothing but the best for you!
I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 14. The trigger point for me was the summer of 2003 after I just turned 14. My brother, Matthew, has just graduated from Mount Vernon Nazarene University with a Bachelors degree in religion. He proposed to his girlfriend the day after my birthday. The Tuesday after graduation, she called Matthew at our house. I remember when that phone came in, I was just in the lazy boy reading my Bible. A few days later I found out she broke up with Matthew and that she told him she didn't want to marry him because of me. That summer I became VERY withdrawn. I was in my room most of the time and became very angry and bitter. I didn't trust anyone and felt I didn't deserve anyone to love me.
In September that all manifested into tics which would\ develop into Tourettes and Pseudo Seizures. I couldn't attend school regularly and was almost kept in 8th grade missing over 60 days of school and missing several major assignments. My teachers would also really modify assignments for me and most of them were different from the other students so I wasn't where I needed to be academically. My Dr's didn't know what was wrong with me. They ran test after test. Dr's appointments usually consisted of me banging my head on the way and saying how I wanted to kill myself. They referred me to the Head Phychatrist Children's Hospital and he told my parents I was the most depressed kid he had ever deal with in over 30 yrs.
With his help and also finally the diagnoses of Tourettes Syndrome and Pseudo Seizures I got a lot better. I got onto the other side of depression. I forgave her for what she did and forgave myself. I got right with God and learned to trust others again and allow them to love me. The recover was not instant at all. In fact, I don't think I really fully recovered until after High School.
Know matter how hard the situation that you may be in, DON'T lost heart. Remember God is bigger then any problem you face or will face. God is on your side, friend. When you fall He will be there to pick you up. Nothing can take His eyes on you! He loves for you is obsessive. He can't stop thinking about you! He is sooooooooo proud of you and wants nothing but the best for you!
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