Happily Ever After

My brother Matthew and his lovely wife Andrea got married on March 28, 2009. They have an amazing love story and it is a beautiful illustration of how when God closes one door, he opens up another. They have both been hurt and disappointed in past relationships and both thought that they would never find love. I am only going to share Matthew's story to save time.

Rewind with me if you would to the year 2003. Matthew and Michelle (aka "That Girl") have been dating for more then a year. They were together most of their senior year at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. Matthew was on his way to earning his BA in Religious Studies and about to a pastor in the Nazarene Church. Michelle was on her way to earning a BA in Early Childhood Ed and being a 1st grade teacher. "That girl" was a "Pastor's Kid" and knew what she was in for if she was a Pastor's wife. They both loved God and did devotionals together regularly and both loved nature often taking hikes. It seemed it was meant to be.

I was 13 during most of their relationship. I was still a little girl in every sense and loved Michelle. I longed for young women to love me, support me, and understand me. I didn't have too many friends in school or youth group and not having a sister, Michelle was my answer to prayer. I was just finding out what my future would be like and I had a REALLY time accepting everything my mom was telling me. Michelle was always there for me. accepted me and treated me with respect.

On May 16, 2003- the day after my 14th birthday, Matthew proposed to Michelle. Everything seemed fine and they started making wedding plans. The 1st major red flag after the engagement that showed us Michelle was not who she said she was, was on that Saturday. Matthew wanted to take me out to lunch at Bob Evans for my birthday and asked Michelle come with us. Michelle was really upset and didn't want to go with us. She went with us but her attitude beforehand put a damper on it. We went to the Smoky Mountains during the previous Spring Break and there were also major red flags then though we told blind to see them. She did not treat me well at all even though I was on my best behavior and was inconsiderate toward mom.

Matthew and Michelle graduated from Mount Vernon Nazarene University 2 weeks later. Things seemed to be going well and we could not see that storm that was about to brew. I remember everything like it was yesterday. The phone rang late Tuesday morning. Dad picked up the phone and it was Michelle wanting to talk to Matthew. I was in family room in the recliner reading my Bible, not knowing that on the phone Michelle told Matthew she took off her ring and wanted to break up. I knew something was wrong a few days later when I came home and everyone was crying like someone died. I had a piano recital that night and Matthew told me everything was fine and mom was just sad since her friend died. I believed him. When we got home from the recital I knew it was much more then that. My dad took me downstairs in the basement and told me that Michelle broke up with Matthew leaving the part out about how she blamed mom and I. At first I thought they were eventually going to get together until my mom told me that it was not the case. The relationship ended- no wedding, no new lady in our family-or so we thought

Fast forward now to October 2006. Matthew was a youth pastor at Shelby Church of the Nazarene in Shelby, Ohio. It is a really small town. His Pastor had to officiate a funeral for a family who did not have a pastor. After the funeral, he meant this girl who he found to be close to Matthew's age with no ring- who worked at the funeral home. I remember Pastor Lester calling Matthew at our house and telling him about Andrea. Matthew came to us once he got off the phone and told us that Lester had meant an funeral director/embalmer after a funeral he officiated and he wanted Matthew to meet her. Matthew and Andrea started taking it slowly mainly corresponding through phone calls and emails. Sparks flew a few months into the relationship, and Andrea meant us. I was the last one in our family to meet her. We connected with her and made her a part of the family.

In February 2008, a few weeks before Matthew would move to Jerseyville, Illinois to be the Senior Pastor in the Nazarene Church there, he proposed to his Andrea! They went on a date an went back the funeral home and played games (she lived upstairs). Before they knew it is was 2:00 in the morning and Matthew had to head back to his apt. Before he left he bent down on knee at near the back door of the funeral home- that's right, Matthew proposed to Andrea at a Funeral Home

This is just one example how when God closes one door, he opens another. It make take a few years, or maybe even a lifetime for some. What about you? What stories do you have of God closing one door and opening up another? Don't give up or discouraged. See God something doing new in the horizon. See him clothing you in his love, mercy and grace. If you are like me, you have times when you get discouraged and don't know what what is next. You and I need to take heart! God love us. Join me on this journey!

A Parent's Love

There is one thing that I cannot deny- the love my parents have for my brothers and I. Growing up I wasn't the easiest child to raise or live with. I had severe behavior and social problems. I had Pervasive Development Disorder (a form of autism) and that caused me to have problems communicating my feelings and also affected my social and motor skills. I also have ADHD which I still struggle with today and have take medicine for. I have Nonverbal Learning Disabilities which affects my social and cognitive skills. I, believe it or not, also have a short temper especially when I feel I am being misunderstood or being a target of teasing.

My parents and I have been through a lot together because of my medical issues also. When they found out I was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome at the age of 7 they were scared to death that they were going to lose me. They didn't want to lost another child. When they first told my mom I had TS, the 1st question she asked is if I was going to die. They laughed and said no and that I would live a long life. In 8th grade when my seizures started another trial came for us. I couldn't attend school because of the seizures and being so emotionally unstable. I had to take a whole month off actually and then I started going to school for only partial days- doing my morning classes one day, and my afternoon classes the next day and so on. I had thoughts of suicide that would paralyze me and for the 2nd time in my life my parents were scared they were going to lose me. They kept strong and positive. They put systems in place that brought more stability and consistency for me, like going to school only half days. They would always make sure one of them was home whenever I was so that I would knew that I was loved and cared cared and so I would always be supervised in case of an emergency. They rarely left me alone with Nathan as they did not want to have him worry about anything. They took me to the best doctors in Ohio and we even started going to a new church which we still go to today.

No matter what I said or did, my parents never gave up on me. They disciplined me with love and understanding. They found a way to discipline me that worked and calmed me down. They noticed my trigger points like being overstimulated, being misunderstood, not feeling I had a voice and being forced to something I didn't want to do. They found solutions that made us all feel good and we both got on each others level. We both won because of the systems they put in place. They helped me develop social skills by putting me in Girl Scouts which I did throughout Elementary School and also Special Olympics which I still compete in. I do Basketball and Bowling.

When I was a child, teen, and even now as an adult my mom has told me that I will never realize how much she loves me, but as even as much as she loves me, God loves me even more. Although I have been blessed with great earthly parents, I have a Father who will never let go of me or let me down. God never gives up on me and disciplines me because he loves me. He perfects my weakness and makes me strong.

No matter what kind of parents you have, know that you have a Heavenly Father who loves you even more. He will never let go of you or let you down. He can wipe away your tears and make you all new. He is the Ultimate Father and to him YOU are His ultimate child!

Nothing Without Him

I don't know what I do without Jesus in my life or what my life would be without Him. I have had a relationship with God for as long as I can remember and don't know who I was without him. He as always been a big part of my life. Being raised in a devout Christian home and having a brother who is a Senior Pastor in the Church of the Nazarene it has become a part of my everyday life. I am glad for the strong Christian upbringing I had, for my parents who have a strong marriage and the strength to cope with raising 2 children with special needs, and brothers who I get along fairly well with. I am thank for my sister Corrie who is watching me grow up from heaven who has been with me every stage of my life through in spirit. I can't wait to meet her someday and give her the biggest hug a sister could give! I have been though things most people would never have to go through. Most people don't know what it is like living with Turner Syndrome or how to come to terms with all of it's challenges. Most people don't what is like to develop an awful seizure disorder as a teenager or know what is like to have a seizure at school and having people make fun of you while you are having the seizure. To top it all of my seizures ONLY happen when I am really nervous and depressed or really tired. I am feeling awful even before the seizure. My seizures/tics are starting up again but now that I am older I can deal with it better. It really hurt me in high school. I will never forget how alone I felt when I had a seizure pop up in the classroom and hearing people laugh at me. It has really made me stronger and more compassionate but those moments still haunt me. God was the rock during that time and I don't know what I would have been like if I did not know him or have the personal relationship with him that I do. He helped me get through those turbulent years and made every situation beautiful in some way or another. I really saw how much my parents loved me and it made our relationship so much stronger. We were on that road together and they will always remember how far we've come together. God placed people into my life to mentor me, befriend me when I wasn't someone you wouldn't want to be around, prayed with me and for me and was willing to talk to me day and night. The peace God gave me at that time was really real. It helped me hold on to Him when I didn't want to. He kept placing people and situations that really kept me strong. What about you? What would you do without God. Wow were you without God. NEVER forget how far you have come and what God has brought you through. Remember who you were and who are you are now. Most of all, remember God, for He remembers you and calls you His beautiful child for which he is well pleased!

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego

Last night I was a familiar Bible story that really struck a cord with me that it never has before. I read the story about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. You probably heard the story before. King Nebuchadnezzar made a HUGE stature of gold and he commended that everyone bow down to it. If you did not bow down to gold stature you would be thrown into the fiery furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abenego refused to bow down to it and King Nebuchadnezzar was furious. He ordered the strongest solders to throw them into the fiery furnace. They kept their calm and said that their God would take care of them, and if He did not, they would still not bow down to the stature. They were thrown into the furnace and the King and officials were shocked when they saw 4 people in the furnace instead of 3. God had saved them! When they got out of the furnace they didn't even smell like smoke. I wish I had the faith that Shadrack, Meshach and Abendego had. I would love to believe no matter what circumstance is dealt my way, that He will take care of. Trusting God in the face of uncertainty can be very scary however he is worthy of our trust, and he will never let us down. As I have gotten older and can see how God worked in my life during certain periods shows me that I can trust Him with my present and future. God will make a way when there seems to be no way. I pray that we can have the faith and courage Shadrach, Meshach and Abenego had- to stand up for what we believe in and trust in God's provision!

Strong Enough To Cry

Crying is seen as a sign of weakness for men, women, girls and boys. It is so healing though. I, personally believe the world would be better off if people cried more instead of hold anything back.When I was 14 I hid my emotions and refused help. My quote that year was "Everything fine, everything perfect."I refused to confront my feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, rejection, and pain. My counsuler at the time told my parents I was one of his most difficult clients because I would deny what I was feeling and how I was behaving at home.The Bible tells us that God's strength is made perfect in weakness. This means that we are strongest in weakness because God gives us his supernatural strength. He takes the wheel and we are his.I will be the first to admit I am really emotional person. I feel everything. When someone I love is hurting I can feel it, and it is like a stab in my heart. I would do anything to change the situation. While it is a really good quality, it can also be negative because I feel what they are going through and it hits me personally.The most special and memorable encounters I have with God is at the alter, crying and with every tear releasing my sorrow, past hurts, life's circumstances, mistakes and giving it over to God. I leave with joy and relief knowing that it is now out of my hands. I have brothers and sisters praying for me, loving me, guiding me, makes me feel I am no longer alone. People are were praying and are praying me through each of life's hurdles.Is there something that you are holding back from God? Well hon, you can't hide from God anything He already knows! Knell at the alter of God and hold nothing back, yes, even cry and release the flood of emotions, if you have to! Remember that when you leave the alter, don't take those burdens with you as they are no longer yours to bear! You did your part so trust Gold and leave the rest to him. He'll never let you down! Are you strong enough to cry?

Faith Isn't: Faith Is

This writing, my friends, is something I need as much as the next person. Faith is something that keeps us connected to God but is often affected by the things of this world. To understand what faith is, we first need to understand what it isn't. Hebrews 11:1 tells us "Faith is the reality of things hoped for, and the proof of what is not seen." Faith is not based on circumstances but rather the knowledge of who God is. We need to and have the ability to have the same amount of faith in the bad times as we have in the good times. As God never changes, so should our love, faith and trust remain the same- for better of worse. Faith, simply put believes God is who He says he is and can do what He says he do. Faith is setting ourselves apart from the world for something far greater and not worrying what others think. Faith is willing to take risk. At this stage in my life, my faith is being tested like never before. I have also never been closer to God. I can't wait till God opens doors for me career wise and I can see how He worked in every situation. I'm very excited to see what God has in store me!I know in my heart that God wants to do something big in my life. I don't know how, don't know when and where but God will do something big in me and through me. I know I am here for a reason in which I am following to the best of my ability. When my sister died in 1982 of a heart defect, my parents were told they could never have more children. When my mom found out she was pregnant with me in 1988 they were shocked, even more shocked then when they had Nathan. My mom was 38 when she had me which is why they were so surprised. They call us their miracles since we were not expected to be here. I don't know what God has in store for you and me. However, I do know His plans are perfect and he will give us the means to fulfill it. So, my friends continue walking in faith and fight the good fight. I believe in you and so does God!