Confidence is something that is needed to live a well-balanced life. When we walk in confidence, everything else falls into place. We show God we are pleased with Him because it shows we accept how He made us. We become a person other people want to be around. No one like to be with a gloomy gus right? When we don't like who we are are, we make God sad, because in a way we are putting him down.
During my 1st 2 years of high school my parents were really concerned about me. I didn't have any interaction with people my age, outside of school, besides youth group and my only friends were adults. I didn't feel comfortable being with people my age. I am still that way today even as an adult though is not much of an issue now that I am out of my teen years. I remember one time when I was getting ready to meet with one of my adult friends and my mom softly said "Why can't you hang out with people your own age?" It was the ONLY time to she said that.
Come my Junior and Senior year, my parents finally came around to realize I was happy with the way things were and was not going to be one of those teens that goes out with her friends every weekend. They learned I was more comfortable that way and I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. My parents learned to accept the adult friends I had and realized the joy they gave me. They realized they were good people who cared about me and would never hurt me. As I said this whole thing is no longer even an issue since I am no longer a teenager. A few weekends ago, I went out with 2 of my friends who have Turner Syndrome just like me. We went to the mall and spent the afternoon together. A few days later when my family sat down for dinner my mom commented how good it made her feel to see me hang out with my friends and that it made her happy to see me be just like any other 20 yr old gal.
Right now I am the only one my age at church but it doesn't affect me at all. Several people at church have come to me and told me how good it is to see me there and how refreshing it is to see someone my age still committed to going to church every Sunday. That makes me really good. My Sunday School class has given me such encouragement and helps me believe in myself. They build my confidence and are always there for me. They accept me and see me as a person with abilities and not disabilities. They have never left me out and have always made me feel included and wanted. They are wonderful towards me.
Why am I telling you this? To help build our confidence we first need to accept our circumstances and surround ourselves with people who build us up and not tear us down. We need to let down our guard and let people help us when we need help. I know this from personal experience that when you shut people out, you hurt the people who love you the most and WANT to help, and that only leads to unneeded heartache.
Confidence comes from God and becoming aware of who we are in Him. We need to have a healthy balance of humility and confidence, knowing we are where we are because of Christ. We can boast only in God and what He did in and through us. This is where true confidence lies- our knowledge of God and who His, and what we are in Him! What area of your life do you need confidence today?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Beautiful Wounds And Scars
We usually associate wounds as being painful and very gruesome. If you watch the CSI shows you may think of blood splattered everywhere. What we are about to talk about is not physical but rather the emotional wounds caused by living this dark world. No matter how good our life, or what kind of home we grew up in, we have dealt with being hurt because life is not perfect
I was born on May 15, 1989 into a wonderful Christian family. As a matter of fact I was dedicated to God a few weeks after I was born! If I could have been born in a church I am sure I would have! When I was little I was a lot of medical issues and as a child I had too many surgeries to count. This made me realize I was not like the other kids. That, along with wearing the same clothes at age 7 that I wore when I was 4 and 5 because I wasn't growing. In the latter part of Elementary School the kids in the lower grades would make fun of me because I was shorter then them. My parents made church a priority as well as family devotions after dinner. Knowing God made it easier but recess was still my war zone and I DREADED it everyday.
As a teen, I was told the only thing I could do was work at a hotel folding towels. This hurt my parents and I deeply. I saw my mom cry more then once because of it. She hated seeing the impact it was having me and was frustrated no one could see me the way she and my dad could. What I was told as a teenager still impacts me today because I was told it so many times but I have learned to not give it and stand up for myself!
My parents and I took a risk and went against everything everyone told us. We knew what I could do and my parents wanted to teach me a valuable lesson about believing in myself and standing up for myself. I applied for Vocational School and ALWAYS got A's and Honors! I completed my training in Early Childhood Ed and got my degree which my parents and I were told would never happen. They said it would be to hard for me to finish and get my degree. It obviously wasn't because I always got A's and people would come up to me regularly asking for help assignments! My Junior year I took a risk in taking a college-prep psychology course. I love psychology and wanted to take this class. I was determined to take it no matter how hard it was! I did REALLY well with it. I loved it and am SO glad I took it It was my best semester of high school!
We all have been hurt, lied to, and betrayed. The wounds will never go away even after we overcome the challenge. God helps heal the wounds but the scars are still there. The scars remind us of where we were and where God brought us from. The scars help remind us not to give up in future hardship.
These scars remind us of how faithful God is. He was always there and still is today! Without the scars and wounds of life how could we learn of what true faith in God is? He bears scars just like us. He has scars of love on his hands caused by being nailed to the cross for OUR sins. He understands our pain! Bear your scars with the pride of all that God is and where he brought you from!
I was born on May 15, 1989 into a wonderful Christian family. As a matter of fact I was dedicated to God a few weeks after I was born! If I could have been born in a church I am sure I would have! When I was little I was a lot of medical issues and as a child I had too many surgeries to count. This made me realize I was not like the other kids. That, along with wearing the same clothes at age 7 that I wore when I was 4 and 5 because I wasn't growing. In the latter part of Elementary School the kids in the lower grades would make fun of me because I was shorter then them. My parents made church a priority as well as family devotions after dinner. Knowing God made it easier but recess was still my war zone and I DREADED it everyday.
As a teen, I was told the only thing I could do was work at a hotel folding towels. This hurt my parents and I deeply. I saw my mom cry more then once because of it. She hated seeing the impact it was having me and was frustrated no one could see me the way she and my dad could. What I was told as a teenager still impacts me today because I was told it so many times but I have learned to not give it and stand up for myself!
My parents and I took a risk and went against everything everyone told us. We knew what I could do and my parents wanted to teach me a valuable lesson about believing in myself and standing up for myself. I applied for Vocational School and ALWAYS got A's and Honors! I completed my training in Early Childhood Ed and got my degree which my parents and I were told would never happen. They said it would be to hard for me to finish and get my degree. It obviously wasn't because I always got A's and people would come up to me regularly asking for help assignments! My Junior year I took a risk in taking a college-prep psychology course. I love psychology and wanted to take this class. I was determined to take it no matter how hard it was! I did REALLY well with it. I loved it and am SO glad I took it It was my best semester of high school!
We all have been hurt, lied to, and betrayed. The wounds will never go away even after we overcome the challenge. God helps heal the wounds but the scars are still there. The scars remind us of where we were and where God brought us from. The scars help remind us not to give up in future hardship.
These scars remind us of how faithful God is. He was always there and still is today! Without the scars and wounds of life how could we learn of what true faith in God is? He bears scars just like us. He has scars of love on his hands caused by being nailed to the cross for OUR sins. He understands our pain! Bear your scars with the pride of all that God is and where he brought you from!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
God's Way Vs Our Way
Isaiah 55: 8-11 (The Message)
"I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work." God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don't go back until they've watered the earth, Doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, So will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They'll do the work I sent them to do, they'll complete the assignment I gave them
How comforting are the words we read above! How often do we wish we had all the answers and get frustrated when we can't find them? We don't have to understand everything or are even expected to! The Creator of this universe, the same Creator who created us, knows what He is doing! He placed you and I where we are right now as part of His great plan for our lives. He places EVERY situation and person in our life for a reason.
From a very age, I have had to learn to accept the way God made me. I had to accept the fact that I would always be short and not like the other girls. I had to accept things no little girl should ever have to accept or deal with the feelings that I had and that caused me to grow up very quickly. In order for me to have peace and be able to cope with the cards dealt to me I had to accept the way God made me where I liked it or not. I am pleased to say that I now accept the way God made. Would I change things about me and my condition, Turner Syndrome, if I could? I would in a heartbeat but I found peace through Jesus Christ and His love for me.
I am currently learning that God's ways are higher then my ways and He know me better then I even know myself. While I may not always get what I want, I always get what I need, when I need it! God me me, I am His child. He will take me wherever I go and whatever I do. He will never let me out of sight.
No matter what is going in your life, remember God know what He is doing. We may not have the answers but God does. While His way is not always what we want, His way is best, and is always done with love. He always does what is best for us no matter who we are or where we are. Listen to God, spend time with Him. Let Him teach things to you and let Him show you what can be and who you can become.
God will reveal himself to you once you completely surrender yourself to His will. Once you place your total trust in Him, he will show you things, you never knew and give you abounding joy! So my question is are you ready to live God's way and live in total abandon to Him? After all, didn't He live in total abandon for you and the rest of man-kind?
Isaiah: 40:27- 29 (The Message)
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying,"God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"?Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.
"I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work." God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don't go back until they've watered the earth, Doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, So will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They'll do the work I sent them to do, they'll complete the assignment I gave them
How comforting are the words we read above! How often do we wish we had all the answers and get frustrated when we can't find them? We don't have to understand everything or are even expected to! The Creator of this universe, the same Creator who created us, knows what He is doing! He placed you and I where we are right now as part of His great plan for our lives. He places EVERY situation and person in our life for a reason.
From a very age, I have had to learn to accept the way God made me. I had to accept the fact that I would always be short and not like the other girls. I had to accept things no little girl should ever have to accept or deal with the feelings that I had and that caused me to grow up very quickly. In order for me to have peace and be able to cope with the cards dealt to me I had to accept the way God made me where I liked it or not. I am pleased to say that I now accept the way God made. Would I change things about me and my condition, Turner Syndrome, if I could? I would in a heartbeat but I found peace through Jesus Christ and His love for me.
I am currently learning that God's ways are higher then my ways and He know me better then I even know myself. While I may not always get what I want, I always get what I need, when I need it! God me me, I am His child. He will take me wherever I go and whatever I do. He will never let me out of sight.
No matter what is going in your life, remember God know what He is doing. We may not have the answers but God does. While His way is not always what we want, His way is best, and is always done with love. He always does what is best for us no matter who we are or where we are. Listen to God, spend time with Him. Let Him teach things to you and let Him show you what can be and who you can become.
God will reveal himself to you once you completely surrender yourself to His will. Once you place your total trust in Him, he will show you things, you never knew and give you abounding joy! So my question is are you ready to live God's way and live in total abandon to Him? After all, didn't He live in total abandon for you and the rest of man-kind?
Isaiah: 40:27- 29 (The Message)
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying,"God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"?Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
You Were There
I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight
'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb
'Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were
Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath
You were there, You were there
During history's darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God
You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God
You Tube Video Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R5jRz3IeMU&feature=fvw
This is song speaks to me EVERY time I listen to it. It comforts me to remember that the God who did miricals in the past, still does them today and it there with ME overseeing EVERY situation in my life!
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight
'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb
'Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were
Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath
You were there, You were there
During history's darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God
You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God
You Tube Video Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R5jRz3IeMU&feature=fvw
This is song speaks to me EVERY time I listen to it. It comforts me to remember that the God who did miricals in the past, still does them today and it there with ME overseeing EVERY situation in my life!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Attitude of Joy
I am recently learning how much joy is a choose, how joy is an attitude. There are things going in my life that are extremely stressful and burdensome. There are days when I do get depressed and feel like crying. I am strong most of the time but I have my weak moments like any person.
People have commented how well I am doing including my parents and doctors. I am really surprised also! I could be a lot worse off emotionally but yet I am still happy without even putting on an act. I honestly wonder why I doing so well but then I realize it is God working inside of me and giving me His strength.
I start remembering what I have instead of what I don't have and everything because more clear. I think about my family and friends who are always there, a personal relationship with God and having Him always by my side, a roof over my head, wonderful Christian friends at church. I think about who I could be now and to honest I don't even want to think about it! I could be a total mess right now but God keeps my heart and mind aliened with His will.
There are times when I get down and I don't even know why, and I remember it is my choice on how I feel. I can choose to stay down or find comfort in the arms of my Heavenly Father. I am responsible for my own happiness and cannot find happiness in people or material positions. I have to find it through my relastionship with Jesus Christ. It is something that has to take place in my heart. When I have joy and comfort inside of me it is something that radiates outside of me because it is God's light shining through me.
God wants us to live with an attitude of joy in EVERY circumstance of our life. He wants to be filled with His presence and His love. He wants us to depend on Him for he knows that is the only way we will have peace. He wants his joy to be our strength. He wants us to trust him with everything large and small. He wants us to have joy knowing that we are His children and nothing in this world can change that. He wants to find our joy in him and stop looking for it in the things of this world.
What are your pressure points? What are the areas of your life that you need God's strength? The joy of the Lord is our strength- not money, friendships, good grades, success, or even dreams coming true. Joy is from God and only God. We need to stop looking for it in all the wrong places. We need to let God take the wheel and give Him control of our circumstance. It is the only way to have pure joy! Are you ready and willing to live with an attitude of joy?
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 15: 13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
People have commented how well I am doing including my parents and doctors. I am really surprised also! I could be a lot worse off emotionally but yet I am still happy without even putting on an act. I honestly wonder why I doing so well but then I realize it is God working inside of me and giving me His strength.
I start remembering what I have instead of what I don't have and everything because more clear. I think about my family and friends who are always there, a personal relationship with God and having Him always by my side, a roof over my head, wonderful Christian friends at church. I think about who I could be now and to honest I don't even want to think about it! I could be a total mess right now but God keeps my heart and mind aliened with His will.
There are times when I get down and I don't even know why, and I remember it is my choice on how I feel. I can choose to stay down or find comfort in the arms of my Heavenly Father. I am responsible for my own happiness and cannot find happiness in people or material positions. I have to find it through my relastionship with Jesus Christ. It is something that has to take place in my heart. When I have joy and comfort inside of me it is something that radiates outside of me because it is God's light shining through me.
God wants us to live with an attitude of joy in EVERY circumstance of our life. He wants to be filled with His presence and His love. He wants us to depend on Him for he knows that is the only way we will have peace. He wants his joy to be our strength. He wants us to trust him with everything large and small. He wants us to have joy knowing that we are His children and nothing in this world can change that. He wants to find our joy in him and stop looking for it in the things of this world.
What are your pressure points? What are the areas of your life that you need God's strength? The joy of the Lord is our strength- not money, friendships, good grades, success, or even dreams coming true. Joy is from God and only God. We need to stop looking for it in all the wrong places. We need to let God take the wheel and give Him control of our circumstance. It is the only way to have pure joy! Are you ready and willing to live with an attitude of joy?
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 15: 13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
Friday, October 9, 2009
I Don't Want To Go
You changed my world
When You came to me
You drove a passion
In my soul down deep
Lord, to follow You in everything
I don't want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there
'Cause I know that me without You is a lie
And I don't want to walk that road
Be a million miles from home
'Cause my heart needs to be where You are
So I don't want to go
So come whatever
I'll stick with YouI'll walk,
You'll lead me
Call me crazy or a fool
For forever I promise you that...
repeat chorus
Without Your touch
Without Your love
Filling me like an ocean
For Your grace is enough
Enough for me
To never want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there
repeat chorus
YouTube Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It8WXwr4ogU
*************
I want to follow God's Will for my life with all my heart, soul and strength. I don't want to go anywhere that is not within his will for my life. I know God's plans for my life are perfect and beautiful and He will guide me every step of the way. I never went to be apart from what God wants me to do. I will not go somewhere I know it is where He does not me,
When You came to me
You drove a passion
In my soul down deep
Lord, to follow You in everything
I don't want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there
'Cause I know that me without You is a lie
And I don't want to walk that road
Be a million miles from home
'Cause my heart needs to be where You are
So I don't want to go
So come whatever
I'll stick with YouI'll walk,
You'll lead me
Call me crazy or a fool
For forever I promise you that...
repeat chorus
Without Your touch
Without Your love
Filling me like an ocean
For Your grace is enough
Enough for me
To never want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there
repeat chorus
YouTube Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It8WXwr4ogU
*************
I want to follow God's Will for my life with all my heart, soul and strength. I don't want to go anywhere that is not within his will for my life. I know God's plans for my life are perfect and beautiful and He will guide me every step of the way. I never went to be apart from what God wants me to do. I will not go somewhere I know it is where He does not me,
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Hold Me Jesus
Hold Me Jesus By Rich Mullins
Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
CHORUS: So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
CHORUS
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin
CHORUS
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace Jesus
YouTube Video Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA6y_Ta7C2c
This songs is the cry of my heart. When I hear this song I see myself falling infront of Jesus and giving him all my burdens and cares. It is my prayer- now and forever. It is a beautiful song that means so much to me. It is so simple so powerful. Please hold me, Jesus! I love you!
Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
CHORUS: So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
CHORUS
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin
CHORUS
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace Jesus
YouTube Video Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA6y_Ta7C2c
This songs is the cry of my heart. When I hear this song I see myself falling infront of Jesus and giving him all my burdens and cares. It is my prayer- now and forever. It is a beautiful song that means so much to me. It is so simple so powerful. Please hold me, Jesus! I love you!
Bound To Be Trouble
Bound To Be Trouble: By Rich Mullins
There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
There's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't nothing to be ashamed of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
Now, People say maybe things will get better
People say maybe it won't be long
And people say maybe you'll wake up tomorrow
And it'll all be gone
Well I only know that maybes just ain't enough
When you need something to hold on
There's only one thing that's clear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes That ain't no reason to fear I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
*******************
I like this song because it reminds me I don't have to be afraid about wait happens next. It helps me remember it is okay for me to cry when I need to and I don't have strong all the time. I need to hold on Jesus as He is my hope! He is my light in the dark!
There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
There's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't nothing to be ashamed of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
Now, People say maybe things will get better
People say maybe it won't be long
And people say maybe you'll wake up tomorrow
And it'll all be gone
Well I only know that maybes just ain't enough
When you need something to hold on
There's only one thing that's clear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes That ain't no reason to fear I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
*******************
I like this song because it reminds me I don't have to be afraid about wait happens next. It helps me remember it is okay for me to cry when I need to and I don't have strong all the time. I need to hold on Jesus as He is my hope! He is my light in the dark!
While I'm Waiting
This month I am going to share with you particular songs that speak to me. This is a song that speaks to me EVERY time I hear it. It really describes what is in my heart at this stage in my life. It almost makes my cry everytime I hear it. It makes me feel better. After the lyrics you will find a link to the music video on YouTube as well as my retrospective. This what will happen with most of the songs I will share with you.
While I'm Waiting By John Waller
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You,Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waitingI will serve You
While I'm waitingI will worship
While I'm waitingI will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I waitI'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, LordAnd I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
YouTube Music Video Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y
***************
I am just a 20 year old gal trying to find God's will for my life. I am waiting for Him and and His guidence and to find who I meant to be. This songs reminds me that I need to praise God while I am waiting and be confident and obedient to His call when He speaks to me. I plan to finish the race strong and I can't wait to see what God has in store for but until then I will wait for Him and praise for all He is and all he has done, is doing, and will do in my life. I thank God for all the people in my life who love me and pray for me and care for me and help me wait. I don't know where this road will lead me but I know God will make a way as he always has.
While I'm Waiting By John Waller
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You,Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waitingI will serve You
While I'm waitingI will worship
While I'm waitingI will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I waitI'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, LordAnd I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
YouTube Music Video Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y
***************
I am just a 20 year old gal trying to find God's will for my life. I am waiting for Him and and His guidence and to find who I meant to be. This songs reminds me that I need to praise God while I am waiting and be confident and obedient to His call when He speaks to me. I plan to finish the race strong and I can't wait to see what God has in store for but until then I will wait for Him and praise for all He is and all he has done, is doing, and will do in my life. I thank God for all the people in my life who love me and pray for me and care for me and help me wait. I don't know where this road will lead me but I know God will make a way as he always has.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Happily Ever After
My brother Matthew and his lovely wife Andrea got married on March 28, 2009. They have an amazing love story and it is a beautiful illustration of how when God closes one door, he opens up another. They have both been hurt and disappointed in past relationships and both thought that they would never find love. I am only going to share Matthew's story to save time.
Rewind with me if you would to the year 2003. Matthew and Michelle (aka "That Girl") have been dating for more then a year. They were together most of their senior year at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. Matthew was on his way to earning his BA in Religious Studies and about to a pastor in the Nazarene Church. Michelle was on her way to earning a BA in Early Childhood Ed and being a 1st grade teacher. "That girl" was a "Pastor's Kid" and knew what she was in for if she was a Pastor's wife. They both loved God and did devotionals together regularly and both loved nature often taking hikes. It seemed it was meant to be.
I was 13 during most of their relationship. I was still a little girl in every sense and loved Michelle. I longed for young women to love me, support me, and understand me. I didn't have too many friends in school or youth group and not having a sister, Michelle was my answer to prayer. I was just finding out what my future would be like and I had a REALLY time accepting everything my mom was telling me. Michelle was always there for me. accepted me and treated me with respect.
On May 16, 2003- the day after my 14th birthday, Matthew proposed to Michelle. Everything seemed fine and they started making wedding plans. The 1st major red flag after the engagement that showed us Michelle was not who she said she was, was on that Saturday. Matthew wanted to take me out to lunch at Bob Evans for my birthday and asked Michelle come with us. Michelle was really upset and didn't want to go with us. She went with us but her attitude beforehand put a damper on it. We went to the Smoky Mountains during the previous Spring Break and there were also major red flags then though we told blind to see them. She did not treat me well at all even though I was on my best behavior and was inconsiderate toward mom.
Matthew and Michelle graduated from Mount Vernon Nazarene University 2 weeks later. Things seemed to be going well and we could not see that storm that was about to brew. I remember everything like it was yesterday. The phone rang late Tuesday morning. Dad picked up the phone and it was Michelle wanting to talk to Matthew. I was in family room in the recliner reading my Bible, not knowing that on the phone Michelle told Matthew she took off her ring and wanted to break up. I knew something was wrong a few days later when I came home and everyone was crying like someone died. I had a piano recital that night and Matthew told me everything was fine and mom was just sad since her friend died. I believed him. When we got home from the recital I knew it was much more then that. My dad took me downstairs in the basement and told me that Michelle broke up with Matthew leaving the part out about how she blamed mom and I. At first I thought they were eventually going to get together until my mom told me that it was not the case. The relationship ended- no wedding, no new lady in our family-or so we thought
Fast forward now to October 2006. Matthew was a youth pastor at Shelby Church of the Nazarene in Shelby, Ohio. It is a really small town. His Pastor had to officiate a funeral for a family who did not have a pastor. After the funeral, he meant this girl who he found to be close to Matthew's age with no ring- who worked at the funeral home. I remember Pastor Lester calling Matthew at our house and telling him about Andrea. Matthew came to us once he got off the phone and told us that Lester had meant an funeral director/embalmer after a funeral he officiated and he wanted Matthew to meet her. Matthew and Andrea started taking it slowly mainly corresponding through phone calls and emails. Sparks flew a few months into the relationship, and Andrea meant us. I was the last one in our family to meet her. We connected with her and made her a part of the family.
In February 2008, a few weeks before Matthew would move to Jerseyville, Illinois to be the Senior Pastor in the Nazarene Church there, he proposed to his Andrea! They went on a date an went back the funeral home and played games (she lived upstairs). Before they knew it is was 2:00 in the morning and Matthew had to head back to his apt. Before he left he bent down on knee at near the back door of the funeral home- that's right, Matthew proposed to Andrea at a Funeral Home
This is just one example how when God closes one door, he opens another. It make take a few years, or maybe even a lifetime for some. What about you? What stories do you have of God closing one door and opening up another? Don't give up or discouraged. See God something doing new in the horizon. See him clothing you in his love, mercy and grace. If you are like me, you have times when you get discouraged and don't know what what is next. You and I need to take heart! God love us. Join me on this journey!
Rewind with me if you would to the year 2003. Matthew and Michelle (aka "That Girl") have been dating for more then a year. They were together most of their senior year at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. Matthew was on his way to earning his BA in Religious Studies and about to a pastor in the Nazarene Church. Michelle was on her way to earning a BA in Early Childhood Ed and being a 1st grade teacher. "That girl" was a "Pastor's Kid" and knew what she was in for if she was a Pastor's wife. They both loved God and did devotionals together regularly and both loved nature often taking hikes. It seemed it was meant to be.
I was 13 during most of their relationship. I was still a little girl in every sense and loved Michelle. I longed for young women to love me, support me, and understand me. I didn't have too many friends in school or youth group and not having a sister, Michelle was my answer to prayer. I was just finding out what my future would be like and I had a REALLY time accepting everything my mom was telling me. Michelle was always there for me. accepted me and treated me with respect.
On May 16, 2003- the day after my 14th birthday, Matthew proposed to Michelle. Everything seemed fine and they started making wedding plans. The 1st major red flag after the engagement that showed us Michelle was not who she said she was, was on that Saturday. Matthew wanted to take me out to lunch at Bob Evans for my birthday and asked Michelle come with us. Michelle was really upset and didn't want to go with us. She went with us but her attitude beforehand put a damper on it. We went to the Smoky Mountains during the previous Spring Break and there were also major red flags then though we told blind to see them. She did not treat me well at all even though I was on my best behavior and was inconsiderate toward mom.
Matthew and Michelle graduated from Mount Vernon Nazarene University 2 weeks later. Things seemed to be going well and we could not see that storm that was about to brew. I remember everything like it was yesterday. The phone rang late Tuesday morning. Dad picked up the phone and it was Michelle wanting to talk to Matthew. I was in family room in the recliner reading my Bible, not knowing that on the phone Michelle told Matthew she took off her ring and wanted to break up. I knew something was wrong a few days later when I came home and everyone was crying like someone died. I had a piano recital that night and Matthew told me everything was fine and mom was just sad since her friend died. I believed him. When we got home from the recital I knew it was much more then that. My dad took me downstairs in the basement and told me that Michelle broke up with Matthew leaving the part out about how she blamed mom and I. At first I thought they were eventually going to get together until my mom told me that it was not the case. The relationship ended- no wedding, no new lady in our family-or so we thought
Fast forward now to October 2006. Matthew was a youth pastor at Shelby Church of the Nazarene in Shelby, Ohio. It is a really small town. His Pastor had to officiate a funeral for a family who did not have a pastor. After the funeral, he meant this girl who he found to be close to Matthew's age with no ring- who worked at the funeral home. I remember Pastor Lester calling Matthew at our house and telling him about Andrea. Matthew came to us once he got off the phone and told us that Lester had meant an funeral director/embalmer after a funeral he officiated and he wanted Matthew to meet her. Matthew and Andrea started taking it slowly mainly corresponding through phone calls and emails. Sparks flew a few months into the relationship, and Andrea meant us. I was the last one in our family to meet her. We connected with her and made her a part of the family.
In February 2008, a few weeks before Matthew would move to Jerseyville, Illinois to be the Senior Pastor in the Nazarene Church there, he proposed to his Andrea! They went on a date an went back the funeral home and played games (she lived upstairs). Before they knew it is was 2:00 in the morning and Matthew had to head back to his apt. Before he left he bent down on knee at near the back door of the funeral home- that's right, Matthew proposed to Andrea at a Funeral Home
This is just one example how when God closes one door, he opens another. It make take a few years, or maybe even a lifetime for some. What about you? What stories do you have of God closing one door and opening up another? Don't give up or discouraged. See God something doing new in the horizon. See him clothing you in his love, mercy and grace. If you are like me, you have times when you get discouraged and don't know what what is next. You and I need to take heart! God love us. Join me on this journey!
Monday, September 21, 2009
A Parent's Love
There is one thing that I cannot deny- the love my parents have for my brothers and I. Growing up I wasn't the easiest child to raise or live with. I had severe behavior and social problems. I had Pervasive Development Disorder (a form of autism) and that caused me to have problems communicating my feelings and also affected my social and motor skills. I also have ADHD which I still struggle with today and have take medicine for. I have Nonverbal Learning Disabilities which affects my social and cognitive skills. I, believe it or not, also have a short temper especially when I feel I am being misunderstood or being a target of teasing.
My parents and I have been through a lot together because of my medical issues also. When they found out I was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome at the age of 7 they were scared to death that they were going to lose me. They didn't want to lost another child. When they first told my mom I had TS, the 1st question she asked is if I was going to die. They laughed and said no and that I would live a long life. In 8th grade when my seizures started another trial came for us. I couldn't attend school because of the seizures and being so emotionally unstable. I had to take a whole month off actually and then I started going to school for only partial days- doing my morning classes one day, and my afternoon classes the next day and so on. I had thoughts of suicide that would paralyze me and for the 2nd time in my life my parents were scared they were going to lose me. They kept strong and positive. They put systems in place that brought more stability and consistency for me, like going to school only half days. They would always make sure one of them was home whenever I was so that I would knew that I was loved and cared cared and so I would always be supervised in case of an emergency. They rarely left me alone with Nathan as they did not want to have him worry about anything. They took me to the best doctors in Ohio and we even started going to a new church which we still go to today.
No matter what I said or did, my parents never gave up on me. They disciplined me with love and understanding. They found a way to discipline me that worked and calmed me down. They noticed my trigger points like being overstimulated, being misunderstood, not feeling I had a voice and being forced to something I didn't want to do. They found solutions that made us all feel good and we both got on each others level. We both won because of the systems they put in place. They helped me develop social skills by putting me in Girl Scouts which I did throughout Elementary School and also Special Olympics which I still compete in. I do Basketball and Bowling.
When I was a child, teen, and even now as an adult my mom has told me that I will never realize how much she loves me, but as even as much as she loves me, God loves me even more. Although I have been blessed with great earthly parents, I have a Father who will never let go of me or let me down. God never gives up on me and disciplines me because he loves me. He perfects my weakness and makes me strong.
No matter what kind of parents you have, know that you have a Heavenly Father who loves you even more. He will never let go of you or let you down. He can wipe away your tears and make you all new. He is the Ultimate Father and to him YOU are His ultimate child!
My parents and I have been through a lot together because of my medical issues also. When they found out I was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome at the age of 7 they were scared to death that they were going to lose me. They didn't want to lost another child. When they first told my mom I had TS, the 1st question she asked is if I was going to die. They laughed and said no and that I would live a long life. In 8th grade when my seizures started another trial came for us. I couldn't attend school because of the seizures and being so emotionally unstable. I had to take a whole month off actually and then I started going to school for only partial days- doing my morning classes one day, and my afternoon classes the next day and so on. I had thoughts of suicide that would paralyze me and for the 2nd time in my life my parents were scared they were going to lose me. They kept strong and positive. They put systems in place that brought more stability and consistency for me, like going to school only half days. They would always make sure one of them was home whenever I was so that I would knew that I was loved and cared cared and so I would always be supervised in case of an emergency. They rarely left me alone with Nathan as they did not want to have him worry about anything. They took me to the best doctors in Ohio and we even started going to a new church which we still go to today.
No matter what I said or did, my parents never gave up on me. They disciplined me with love and understanding. They found a way to discipline me that worked and calmed me down. They noticed my trigger points like being overstimulated, being misunderstood, not feeling I had a voice and being forced to something I didn't want to do. They found solutions that made us all feel good and we both got on each others level. We both won because of the systems they put in place. They helped me develop social skills by putting me in Girl Scouts which I did throughout Elementary School and also Special Olympics which I still compete in. I do Basketball and Bowling.
When I was a child, teen, and even now as an adult my mom has told me that I will never realize how much she loves me, but as even as much as she loves me, God loves me even more. Although I have been blessed with great earthly parents, I have a Father who will never let go of me or let me down. God never gives up on me and disciplines me because he loves me. He perfects my weakness and makes me strong.
No matter what kind of parents you have, know that you have a Heavenly Father who loves you even more. He will never let go of you or let you down. He can wipe away your tears and make you all new. He is the Ultimate Father and to him YOU are His ultimate child!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Nothing Without Him
I don't know what I do without Jesus in my life or what my life would be without Him. I have had a relationship with God for as long as I can remember and don't know who I was without him. He as always been a big part of my life. Being raised in a devout Christian home and having a brother who is a Senior Pastor in the Church of the Nazarene it has become a part of my everyday life. I am glad for the strong Christian upbringing I had, for my parents who have a strong marriage and the strength to cope with raising 2 children with special needs, and brothers who I get along fairly well with. I am thank for my sister Corrie who is watching me grow up from heaven who has been with me every stage of my life through in spirit. I can't wait to meet her someday and give her the biggest hug a sister could give! I have been though things most people would never have to go through. Most people don't know what it is like living with Turner Syndrome or how to come to terms with all of it's challenges. Most people don't what is like to develop an awful seizure disorder as a teenager or know what is like to have a seizure at school and having people make fun of you while you are having the seizure. To top it all of my seizures ONLY happen when I am really nervous and depressed or really tired. I am feeling awful even before the seizure. My seizures/tics are starting up again but now that I am older I can deal with it better. It really hurt me in high school. I will never forget how alone I felt when I had a seizure pop up in the classroom and hearing people laugh at me. It has really made me stronger and more compassionate but those moments still haunt me. God was the rock during that time and I don't know what I would have been like if I did not know him or have the personal relationship with him that I do. He helped me get through those turbulent years and made every situation beautiful in some way or another. I really saw how much my parents loved me and it made our relationship so much stronger. We were on that road together and they will always remember how far we've come together. God placed people into my life to mentor me, befriend me when I wasn't someone you wouldn't want to be around, prayed with me and for me and was willing to talk to me day and night. The peace God gave me at that time was really real. It helped me hold on to Him when I didn't want to. He kept placing people and situations that really kept me strong. What about you? What would you do without God. Wow were you without God. NEVER forget how far you have come and what God has brought you through. Remember who you were and who are you are now. Most of all, remember God, for He remembers you and calls you His beautiful child for which he is well pleased!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego
Last night I was a familiar Bible story that really struck a cord with me that it never has before. I read the story about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. You probably heard the story before. King Nebuchadnezzar made a HUGE stature of gold and he commended that everyone bow down to it. If you did not bow down to gold stature you would be thrown into the fiery furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abenego refused to bow down to it and King Nebuchadnezzar was furious. He ordered the strongest solders to throw them into the fiery furnace. They kept their calm and said that their God would take care of them, and if He did not, they would still not bow down to the stature. They were thrown into the furnace and the King and officials were shocked when they saw 4 people in the furnace instead of 3. God had saved them! When they got out of the furnace they didn't even smell like smoke. I wish I had the faith that Shadrack, Meshach and Abendego had. I would love to believe no matter what circumstance is dealt my way, that He will take care of. Trusting God in the face of uncertainty can be very scary however he is worthy of our trust, and he will never let us down. As I have gotten older and can see how God worked in my life during certain periods shows me that I can trust Him with my present and future. God will make a way when there seems to be no way. I pray that we can have the faith and courage Shadrach, Meshach and Abenego had- to stand up for what we believe in and trust in God's provision!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Strong Enough To Cry
Crying is seen as a sign of weakness for men, women, girls and boys. It is so healing though. I, personally believe the world would be better off if people cried more instead of hold anything back.When I was 14 I hid my emotions and refused help. My quote that year was "Everything fine, everything perfect."I refused to confront my feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, rejection, and pain. My counsuler at the time told my parents I was one of his most difficult clients because I would deny what I was feeling and how I was behaving at home.The Bible tells us that God's strength is made perfect in weakness. This means that we are strongest in weakness because God gives us his supernatural strength. He takes the wheel and we are his.I will be the first to admit I am really emotional person. I feel everything. When someone I love is hurting I can feel it, and it is like a stab in my heart. I would do anything to change the situation. While it is a really good quality, it can also be negative because I feel what they are going through and it hits me personally.The most special and memorable encounters I have with God is at the alter, crying and with every tear releasing my sorrow, past hurts, life's circumstances, mistakes and giving it over to God. I leave with joy and relief knowing that it is now out of my hands. I have brothers and sisters praying for me, loving me, guiding me, makes me feel I am no longer alone. People are were praying and are praying me through each of life's hurdles.Is there something that you are holding back from God? Well hon, you can't hide from God anything He already knows! Knell at the alter of God and hold nothing back, yes, even cry and release the flood of emotions, if you have to! Remember that when you leave the alter, don't take those burdens with you as they are no longer yours to bear! You did your part so trust Gold and leave the rest to him. He'll never let you down! Are you strong enough to cry?
Friday, September 4, 2009
Faith Isn't: Faith Is
This writing, my friends, is something I need as much as the next person. Faith is something that keeps us connected to God but is often affected by the things of this world. To understand what faith is, we first need to understand what it isn't. Hebrews 11:1 tells us "Faith is the reality of things hoped for, and the proof of what is not seen." Faith is not based on circumstances but rather the knowledge of who God is. We need to and have the ability to have the same amount of faith in the bad times as we have in the good times. As God never changes, so should our love, faith and trust remain the same- for better of worse. Faith, simply put believes God is who He says he is and can do what He says he do. Faith is setting ourselves apart from the world for something far greater and not worrying what others think. Faith is willing to take risk. At this stage in my life, my faith is being tested like never before. I have also never been closer to God. I can't wait till God opens doors for me career wise and I can see how He worked in every situation. I'm very excited to see what God has in store me!I know in my heart that God wants to do something big in my life. I don't know how, don't know when and where but God will do something big in me and through me. I know I am here for a reason in which I am following to the best of my ability. When my sister died in 1982 of a heart defect, my parents were told they could never have more children. When my mom found out she was pregnant with me in 1988 they were shocked, even more shocked then when they had Nathan. My mom was 38 when she had me which is why they were so surprised. They call us their miracles since we were not expected to be here. I don't know what God has in store for you and me. However, I do know His plans are perfect and he will give us the means to fulfill it. So, my friends continue walking in faith and fight the good fight. I believe in you and so does God!
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